I’ve been thinking about this all day. Have I ever truly loved someone without trying to possess them? My gut reaction is to immediately say “No… Except for my kids…” but I know that I have a hard time loosening the reigns of control with my teenaged sons.
I want so badly to be in love. I crave it more than I care chocolate when I’m PMSing! The last man I fell for, well, it didn’t work out. When I couldn’t possess him, I got clingy, needy and desperate. My relationship with my last boyfriend was possessive, too: I was so concerned about having him (and being possessed by him as well), that I stopped freely giving my love.
Looking back, I can see that I was utterly possessed by my ex husband. He was incredibly controlling, jealous of my friends ( to the point where I wasn’t allowed to have any), and he never ever treated me in a loving way. He did not freely give love (perhaps it wasn’t his to give?)
Did I like how that felt? Hell no!! Then why the hell have I been trying to possess others instead of giving them love?
This whole possession thing really hasn’t been working for me. Time to try a new tactic: give love to those around me. Maybe that’s the key.
